GAH what the fuck is this??? I can't think fucking straight at all. I remember now my motivation behind my little venture. I miss the peace. I'm half torn between just stick through it, It will get easier, and I've come so far, why stop now.
So my friend stole my phone and texted her last night, told her I liked her. Long story short my run is over, and I'm finding it hard to imagine a situation in which I'd enjoy spending time with her, and not feel like shit. Is maturity not abandoning a friend, when all you want to do is forget them?
Basically I feel like shit. Eloquent I'm sure, but really its the best description. It's been awhile since I felt like I was breaking down. Anyway I suppose this gives me closure. I can move on. Now how the fuck do I move on and stay friends with her? To me moving on means forget them, cut off all contact with them.
So I guess I'll stick with it for now. There's more to her story I'll post it later.
On a less soul crushing note, I'm learning/studying the Facial Action Coding System. Which for those of you who don't know, it's this system that teaches you how to read people's faces. Which at first seems really complicated, but once you start catching on, is really fucking cool. Basically its main function is catching people lying. I think I might invest into getting the program, and get really good at it.
So yea
