Oh You (Me) or Somebody That You Used To Know

Here I am pendulum still in full swing, everything changes always. I've given up plans for now, I do much better making shit up as I go. Having said that I would like to present my new life plan following my status update. I am still on welfare. I didn't get coffee with her because we never contacted each other while she was in town. I've joined a gym, ran my first 5KM and in general feel like I've gotten my shit together. I've decided that I am going back to school, looks like it's going to be for 2015 though, and it looks like it's going to be for something sports related, something that will give me some credentials when I apply for instructor positions at local goalie camps, and I also need to get my general coaching certification this summer. I also (as I just mentioned) have joined a gym for the sole purpose of training for the upcoming Play On tournament. Last year was a real disappointment for me, this year I want to (and am) train as much as possible, I want to get a shutout, I want to win a goddamn game, I've upped the stakes a bit with a no shave beard and shave head pact if we don't win at least one game this year. I've been trying to up my stamina, as well hence the 5km runs, my pace is slow now but I hope to have it at or below 25 minutes by the end of May. I've also learned a lot about myself recently for example running is like 95% mental, when I ran my first 5km I wanted to quit on lap 3 of 25 and instead decided to power through, making quitting not an option, when I ran it again (with the goal of always being at least 1 second faster) I realized I was afraid. I was afraid of failure of doing my best and having my best not be good enough, and I realized that I can choose whether or not to fail. If I put the effort in, I can succeed. I just need to learn to not be afraid of trying. I feel like I am on the right track, we are going to win this year, even if it kills me, even if its 1-0 in the shootout after 60 shots in 30 minutes. I will grind out at least one victory.