So I've decided I should stop doubting the future and just go with it. Luck is clearly on my side. I was driving in the middle of Bum-Fuck Nowhere (Capitalized because it's a proper noun) with Marcel, when I noticed a pair of goalie pads on the side of the road. Which prompted me to shout HOLY SHIT, and pull over immediately. We got out and moved closer and found not only pads, but senior level gloves, pants, a helmet and a blocker, all of which fit me bullshit perfectly, and here's the kicker. The whole lot only cost $30. I just bought what brand new would be close to $1200, and what was probably now worth about $500 for less than a tank of gas. All I need now is Skates, and a few small items.
I still need:
Skates
Neck Guard
Under Armor
Jersey
Bag
At this rate I'll be in the NHL next year.