Making up for lost time...

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Dec 18 2010 12:54 AM

            So coffee never panned out with K, and now I shall once again give up. I really want to go back to the way things were and… wait. I can’t just keep wishing for the past. I can however try to make the future better, I am not wholeheartedly into this cause. I want to “feel” again, lets break it down and make it happen.

Hell even as I write this, I don’t want to do it.

1. Empathy, a good a place to start as any. Will work on getting a better understanding of it.

I keep trying to be who I was, and the funny part of it is, it’s all coming back, even the stuff I had forgotten and had thought lost. I am getting panic attacks occasionally, thank god I learned how to deal with them. I have an urge to want to believe in god. I have urges to do nice things for people. The only thing that hasn’t come back is my ability to approach people and not instinctively hate them. Honestly I hate all of it. I changed myself for a reason. But if it gives me a chance at a normal relationship it’s worth a shot.

            I like the old system.

1. Something happens
2. Do you care?

No? You’re done!

Yes?

3. Do you care for a rational reason?

No? Shut up and ignore/fix the problem.

Yes? Be sad/upset for appropriate length of time, get over it, and you’re done!

Dec 19 2010 1:10 AM

1. "Alright, so we may have a little bit of trouble getting down..."

2. "Difficult? Difficult is an understatement, I can’t even reach my feet."

1. "Someone will probably find us... eventually."

2. " *sigh* Eggs. It’s a five minute walk to the store and somehow you managed this."

1. "It's still better than last year’s vacation."

2. "It's 3 AM why did we even need eggs?"

1. "Hey if you look close enough you can almost see the hotel from here"

2. "Ok, don’t panic, deep breaths

1. “It's kinda blocked by trees and smoke.”

2. “Would you please shut up!”

"Bring me your weak and your old. Your criminals and outcasts. Your beggars and your homeless, and I will create a force the likes of which the world has never seen."

Dec 19 2010 11:27 PM

      I really want to get drunk.

Dec 21 2010 1:40

      “I'd ask what tragic series of events led me to find you singing in your underwear into an empty toilet paper roll to the spice girls, but I'd much rather come up with my own... Are those... Nail extensions?”

“... Acrylic, yea...”

1. "So what did we learn today?"

2. "Practice what yo-"

1. "No"

2. "Look both ways before yo-"

1. "Try again"

2. "Don’t pick fights with the homeless?"

1. "Still wrong"

3. "Actually that’s not bad advice"

1. "Don't encourage him"