Ok so after carefully reviewing (read: obsessing) the situation, it was brought to my attention that maybe I should, you know, talk to her. The simplicity and perfectness of this answer boggles my mind. I've been here before, getting ready to spill my heart out to a girl whose about to leave. I like this option, it gives me some control over the situation, also closure. Mostly closure.
Apparently not only am I within my rights to want something based on that night, but should have spoken up a lot sooner. I'm not saying that I demand for something, but it's nice to know I have some basis for the upcoming conversation. Again I don't want to plan word for word, because I'll end up messing some part up and getting flustered but I also want a general outline of what I'm going to say. I think it ought to sound like this:
- About that night
- I don't know how you feel but I feel (X), and I want (Y)
- I know you're leaving for school, and I know you said you weren't looking for a relationship, I just wanted to tell you how I felt.
Short and to the point, just like a band-aid it won't be too awkward for long. This will solve me wondering what's going to happen (I know probably nothing), and if she "rejects" me (quotes because it's not so much a question as it is a statement), then we probably won't talk much which means less exposure which means time to heal. So worst case scenario = win-win-win, best case scenario = win-win-win. I seem to have fucked it up pretty badly from here, so It'll be interesting to see me try to recover or crash and burn, either way it will be entertaining.
Now all I have to do is wait for her to come online, or something.
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