"And I don't think you see the places inside me that I find you."

So I guess I'm not done ranting yet. I am going to see if I can describe the base emotions. You wouldn't think how are you feeling would be a difficult question, but usually I have trouble narrowing down past just positive/negative. I think I finally know how to put into words what the shit is bothering me. It came to me in a (day)dream.

The lyrics to roadside popped into my head "Tell me what I'm supposed to do, With all these left over feelings of you.". That's exactly what it is. I spent nearly 10 hours in constant physical contact with someone, I'm sure it's perfectly normal to feel some sort of emotional bond during such a time. Something tells me that while awesome to me, this probably ranks pretty low on the scale of meaningful nights. Another part of me wants to scream, doesn't this mean anything? Don't I mean anything? Are we anything? I'm kind of glad my rational mind is in control because I'm pretty sure saying anything of those things would make me sound like a psycho. I am angry, and disappointed. I haven't had much contact with her since, and nothing has been said about that night. Like it didn't happen. I feel like I'm nothing. God this sounds ridiculous. Is this normal? Do people sound like this?

I keep thinking "oh look, no girl has made me this insane, therefore love", and It's like no! Just because she makes you feel strongly, if it's not a positive emotion, it's probably not a good idea to keep thinking that way. Basically you should never look at your love interest and say "Oh my god a girl that hurts, she's perfect".

I love when I'm playing hockey and she pops in my head. The sudden surge of emotion and the instinct to drown it out with physical stimuli really improves my game. It's almost like a second wind, I'll play until the only thing I feel is my lungs burning for air, and my legs giving out from under me.

Songs. A hobby of mine whenever a girl I like enters my life is to immediately assign her a song to which I can obsess over her over. This one has been difficult but I think I've got it, which means we should see a resurgence in Good Left Undone - Rise Against. If only for the line: "All because of you, I haven't slept in so long...". Sleep would be nice. I think I got a large portion of what bothered me out, should be betterish now.