"Reality is only an opinion"

So the "redemption" happened tonight. She came over. I'm pretty sure this is a lost cause. Here is the series of events as I interpreted them.

1. We're talking online, and she says, "I'm bored, I kinda feel like driving into Kingston for nooooo reason", I interpret this as I want to drive to Kingston so I say "Lol you should come over, My room mate is working and I'm bored". She says "I can if you want, I'm doing fuck all", I say "Hell yea" <- not actual quote. So at this point I interpret, I'm driving 10 minutes taking a 20 minute ferry and then driving another 20 minutes to get to your house, just because I can.

2. She comes over and she has brought movies, so we select one and sit down to watch it, I put my arm around her, and she leans in, we stay this way the whole movie, I don't try anything I'm still waiting for "that" moment. (it doesn't arrive). All in all at this point I feel pretty good, like maybe things are looking up, she mentions its freezing rain outside and half mentions not wanting to drive, I interpret this as a good sign in my favor.

3. Drive roommate home, put in second movie, put around her like I did before.... Nothing, no lean in, no shuffle closer, nothing. Well shit, I guess I can cling to the hope that she'll stay, nope she leaves. Ok so at this point, I'm leaning towards this isn't going to happen.

So yea I guess that's it. I'm not going to actively shun her but I'm not going to put forth the effort as much to chat/hang out with, I'll see if I can't kill this quietly. After she left I was disappointed but what has followed has been kind of serene and peaceful, I haven't slept in a few days so maybe I'm finally crashing. I think I'm done, I can't wait for the invincibility that should follow.