I enabled comments but for some reason they're not showing up on my screen.... w/e

Oct 10 2010

It is the day we are to meet for coffee. I am terrified. In the back of my mind, I realize that if I go through with this, I will probably never see her again. I start running through excuses as to why I shouldn’t do this. This time “You’re doing this” does not bring the inspiration I need.

It is 2:10, I meet her in front of the local Y.M.C.A., and she just finished working a shift at a nearby library. We are to walk to the coffee shop together. The moment I see her, I realize I can’t tell her today, because I want to see her again. We talk. Just like old times, I ask about her future plans (She’s told me before, I just like hearing her voice), we talk about the past. We talk about music, television, anything that comes to mind. I never thought it’d feel like it did before. It was like nothing had changed, like we were sitting in a capsule unaffected by time. I was captivated by her smile, her eyes, her voice. The two hours went by quickly. We said goodbye, but this did not feel like a final goodbye. Hopefully we will meet again.

Somewhat depressed, I walked back to the house I was staying at. While I was kicking myself for being a coward, I appreciated that I got to have my one more day with her. All I had to do was wait three years.

Oct 15 2010

I have a new plan now, I hope to see her again but there is a possibility that this will not happen. Even then I don’t believe for a second I have the courage to say this in person. My plan is to send her a message. Tell her how I feel. I haven’t decided the medium yet but I still have 15 days.

Oct 16 2010 1:11 AM

My entries thus far have been written whilst looking back upon past events. Now I have caught up to my current life, and entries will be dated, for better or for worse, this is my life. Time to get some sleep. 14 days.